CLERKS: Hardly Workin'

WELCOME TO SMITHMAS!!!!!!

Note: This is a new weekly (just for December) post dedicated to the films of Kevin Smith. This month, we'll be focusing on Kevin Smith's Clerks., Mallrats and Clerks II. Granted, the following post might include foul language, but this is out of respect to the filmmaker's original works. These feature posts will be noticeably longer than my regular posts because they will include a feature-length overview of the film. Thank you and I hope you enjoy it.

"Just because they serve you, doesn't mean they like you."

In 1993, New Jersey convenience store employee Kevin Smith wasn't just working his 9-to-5 job. He was putting together a movie. He maxed out ten credit cards, pulled from a tuition reimbursement because he dropped out of college halfway through, and used insurance money he got from a car that got lost in a flood. He shot for 21 straight nights (he was not allowed to film inside the store while it was open). He could only sleep for one hour, which often led to him falling asleep during the shoot. What the world got was Clerks.


Awaking from a deep sleep, everyman employee Dante Hicks (Brian O'Halloran) is called into work on his day off. As he vehemently protests, "I'm not even supposed to be here today!", he is promised that another employee will come in later in the day to relieve him. And so, Dante goes to work at Quick Stop. Because he can't open the security shutters (there is gum stuck in the locks), he has to make a sign that says, "I ASSURE YOU, WE'RE OPEN!" He makes some coffee, brings in the newspaper and mournfully awaits the start of his day. Meanwhile, outside the store are two drug dealers - Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) who are all about partying, doing drugs and not doing much of anything else. From dealing with a chewing gum salesman posing as an anti-cigarette activist, an angry girlfriend with a distasteful secret and the upsetting news that his ex-girlfriend, Caitlin Bree (Lisa Spoonhauer) is getting married, there is not much more Dante can take. Enter Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson), who takes the title "employee" very, very lightly. He works at the video store next door but rarely stays inside for more than 5 minutes and often walks over to Quick Stop to bug Dante, his best friend. Because Randal is such a film geek, their conversations often go something like this:


Dante's girlfriend, Veronica (Marilyn Ghigliotti), brings him lasagna for lunch and keeps begging him to leave the Quick Stop and go back to college where he can make something for himself. Dante is wrestling with his self-doubt and believes he is unable to bring about a change in his life. Randal is perfectly happy to stay right where he is and keep doing what he's doing (which isn't much to begin with). When Dante learns that that relief employee was just a ruse to get him to work the entire day, Dante decides enough is enough and closes the store to play hockey on the roof with his friends, as he planning to when he got off work.


After an annoyed customer joins them and knocks their ball off the roof and into a sewer, Dante and Randal return inside where they learn that one of their friends from high school, Julie Dwyer, has died and close the store again to go to her wake. Once inside, Randal knocks over Julie's casket and the two of them escape while being chased by Julie's family members. Back at Quick Stop, Dante finds his ex-girlfriend Caitlin. She reveals that the news of her impending marriage was made too quickly and that she is not really in love with her groom, an Asian architect. Tempted by her words, Dante goes home to change into new clothes to take her on a date. However, a mistake Dante has made earlier in the day has now come back to haunt him. An elderly man, who had entered the store a few hours before Caitlin walked in, asked Dante to use the employee bathroom. Believing Dante had already arrived, Caitlin entered the bathroom alone.


With Caitlin gone, Jay and Silent Bob enter the store. Jay derisively invites Dante to a drugged-up party and he declines. However, Silent Bob breaks his silence as he imparts advice to him, "You know, there's a million fine-looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you." Swayed by Bob's words, Dante is resolved to return to his girlfriend Veronica. However, Randal has already told her of Dante's plans to leave her for Caitlin. A furious Veronica breaks up with Dante and tells him:

"You don't know what you want, but I'm not going to sit here anymore holding your hand until you figure it out! I've encouraged you to get out of this fucking dump and go back to school, to take charge of your life and find direction. I even transferred so maybe you would be more inclined to go back to college if I was with you. Everyone said it was a stupid move, but I didn't care because I loved you and wanted to see you pull yourself out of this senseless funk you've been in since that whore dumped you, oh so many years ago. And now you want to go back to her so she can fuck you over some more? .... I want you to follow through on this, just so she can find out what a fucking idiot you are! And when she dumps you again - and she will, Dante, I promise you - when she dumps you again, I want to laugh at you, right in your face, just so you know that that was what you gave up our relationship for! I'm just glad Randal had the balls to tell me, since you couldn't!"

For Dante, this is the last straw. As Randal re-enters the Quick Stop, Dante ambushes him and they begin fighting using items from the store as weapons. They soon tire out though and end up lying on the floor.


No longer angry at each other, Dante and Randal clean up their mess. Dante tells Randal he's going to visit both Caitlin and Veronica, but will most likely try to patch things up with Veronica. Randal takes down the "I ASSURE YOU, WE'RE OPEN" sign and tosses it at Dante's head, happily exclaiming, "You're closed!"


Clerks. is a hysterically funny film. It shows a view into normal, everyday people that most of us all take for granted. The actors inhibit their characters fairly well for first-time actors. Smith follows the "work with what you got" filmmaking school. For instance, the real reason that the shudder locks are jammed with guns is quite simple. As mentioned earlier, Smith could not film inside the store during the day. He simply wrote in a simple explanation. He specifically wrote the character of Randal for himself, but when he realized he couldn't write, direct, work the store and play a major character all at once, he gave himself the small role of Silent Bob. I'm particularly a fan of the above "Death Star Contractors" conversation. It ended up leading to a change in Star Wars canon. In the DVD commentary for Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, George Lucas confirmed that the Geonosians were created as the contractors for the Death Star to calm the fears of "Jay and Silent Bob" (mistaking Dante and Randal).


Clerks. was a huge hit and launched Kevin Smith's career. He started work on his next screenplay. Only this film would not be in a convenience store. It would be set... in a mall...