BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (2017): Hermione Granger and the Reluctant Werewolf

NOTE: Be our guest, be our guest, put our SPOILERS to the test.

“If it's not Baroque, don't fix it.”

- Cosgworth (voice of David Ogden Stiers), Beauty and the Beast (1991)

There are not a lot of perfect movies out there, especially these days. But if there is a contender for such a title, Beauty and the Beast would be a welcome choice. I am, of course, referring to the 1991 Disney animated classic (you thought it would be Cocteau's?). The film came after Disney reinvented its animation studio following The Little Mermaid and caught the world by its collective heartstrings and refused to let go. To this day, it is the only traditionally-animated film to be nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards (it lost to the Hannibal Lector film The Silence of the Lambs). From there, Disney continued to utilize the film's beloved characters in everything from direct-to-video spinoffs to theme park restaurants.

In 2010, Disney released Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland to massive box office success (chalked up to the then-reliable star power of Johnny Depp and the 3D ticket sales brought on after Avatar) and launched a new mission for the company: they would dive back into their own animated canon, remake them in live-action CG hybrids and profit off of parents reintroducing their children to timeless stories told by today's movie stars and directors. Remakes of Sleeping Beauty (soon after crafted into an Angelina Jolie vehicle titled Maleficent), Cinderella (directed by Thor's Kenneth Branagh) and Pete's Dragon (which surprisingly became a critical darling) would be greenlit. And if other Disney fans did not like them, they always had Pixar, Marvel and Lucasfilm to turn to. What could go wrong?

Belle (Emma Watson) is a beautiful young woman with an inventive mind and a spirit of adventure. Naturally, this makes her the topic of gossip in her little French village and the unwavering target of the affections of big game hunter Gaston (Luke Evans), who is vain and ill-tempered. Her doting and encouraging father Maurice (Kevin Kline) leaves on a quick trip to the market and winds up lost at the front of a massively imposing castle. When he does not return the next day, Belle sets off after him and finds him a prisoner of the castle's belligerent master, a large and hairy Beast (Dan Stevens in performance capture). Belle hesitantly agrees to take her father's place as his prisoner. Belle soon discovers the Beast is not the sole occupant of the castle; a large assortment of enchanted talking objects show her hospitality and kindness and gradually reveal they used to be human along with the Beast. What Belle does not know is that the Enchantress who cursed him and his servants did so because she saw he had no love in his heart; however, if he could love someone and have them love him in return, the spell would be broken. "For who could ever learn to love a Beast?"

The cast of the film had a lot to live up to despite their doppelgängers being hand drawn. Emma Watson delivers a fine performance as well as demonstrating keen musical chops. The movie simply would fall flat without her. Her compassion and grace is the most beautiful aspect about her character and livens up the proceedings. Dan Stevens is not an actor I am familiar with (I did recently see the pilot episode to his new FX series "Legion"), but his is probably the most difficult part in the film. Buried under a mass of CG fur, Stevens manages to work the performance capture technology to his advantage and maintains control of his facial expressions. Kevin Kline is not the spitting image of the original Maurice but his heart comes through with his scenes with Watson. He also is in the movie a lot more than I would have guessed and it is good to see Kline in such a mainstream movie again. Luke Evans and Josh Gad have surprisingly good camaraderie and work well off each other. I certainly would have preferred Gad to be dressed in the exact costume his animated counterpart wore but this is a minor nitpick. 

Where the movie really falls is in the voice cast comprising the castle's enchanted objects. It certainly is not for a lack of casting; Ewan McGregor (as Lumiere), Ian McKellen (as Cogsworth), Emma Thompson (as Mrs. Potts) and Stanley Tucci (as Cadenza, a character completely created for the film) are all vastly-talented actors who are pretty much miscast all across the board. McGregor has even said as much, saying his performance of "Be Our Guest" was fouled up by his attempted French accent which ended up sounding Spanish. In animated form, the original characters were all pleasant to look at and were clearly designed following in the footsteps of Disney's Nine Old Men. However, their realistic depiction here is just unnerving. How hard would have been to put Ewan McGregor's face in the wax of a candle? He is part of the candelabra in the final film and it just comes off as ugly. When the voice cast appears as themselves at the end of the film, it feels like their makeup was done by the team from that ghastly Nutcracker movie years ago; they look pretty horrid. 

The songs from the original (lyrics by Howard Ashman and music by master composer Alan Menken) had the world falling in love and credit goes to director Bill Condon for dissuading Disney from making a version of the movie without them. Anybody can make a movie based on the story of "Beauty and the Beast", but only Disney can make a movie with the song "Beauty and the Beast". The only song that Belle does not sing that I feel accurately stands tall next to the original is Luke Evans taking on "The Mob Song (Kill the Beast)". There are new songs in the film, but despite them coming from Menken, they are not nearly as memorable. They got it right the first time. The original Beauty and the Beast is my second favorite musical behind Mary Poppins (and the director of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is about to go mess that up too).

There is a certain phrase that goes, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." This story is nothing if not sincere, but this movie is nothing but a flattering imitation. Is it bad? No, not in the least. The animated Beauty and the Beast was and remains a perfect movie; lightning in a bottle with no live-action version necessary. However, if a movie like this has to exist, its sole benefit would be to point back to the superior version.

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON - Damaged Armor

NOTE: Sorry I've been gone for so long, what with school, work and other arrangements. I can't promise that I will go back to weekly reviews or news articles, but I will post here when I am "burdened with glorious purpose". 

"Isn't that why we fight? So we can end the fight and go home?"

- Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), Avengers: Age of Ultron

Like it or not, Marvel Studios has changed the way modern blockbusters are made. In the wake of Marvel's The Avengers, movie studios have tripped over themselves trying to follow in the footsteps of the shared movie universe that was set up for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. From Ghostbusters to Universal Monsters and even DC, Marvel's distinguished competition all want a piece of the billions Marvel Studios has been collecting for their parent company, Walt Disney Pictures.  But there's something major that the studios just aren't getting: the Marvel Cinematic Universe was built out of the structure of comic books. You start with a teaser, go into the story panel-by-panel, splash pages occasionally, and you wrap it all up with the last panel predicating the next story to read. Ghostbusters won't have that. Universal Monsters won't have that. DC could, but they're in it for the wrong reasons. It takes a leader (whether it be a talented director, a dedicated writer or a patient producer) to come in and take the reigns and stop the madness. However, with his newest summer opus Avengers: Age of Ultron, it is clear that writer/director Joss Whedon doesn't want this responsibility anymore.

When we last left the Avengers, they had all gone their separate ways. Tony Stark found himself stranded in Tennessee and had to track down the terrorist Mandarin and the mysterious tech company A.I.M. (Iron Man 3). Thor returned to Earth for Jane Foster who had accidentally come into contact with a mystical force that threatened to destroy her (Thor: The Dark World). And Captain America had the biggest issue of all when he discovered that S.H.I.E.L.D. was actually evil '40s organization HYDRA in disguise - not to mention that they had revived his best friend since childhood and turned him into an international assassin - and had to take it down from the inside (Captain America: The Winter Soldier). Oh, and there was a wise-cracking '80s kid,  a green girl, a tattooed maniac who took things too literally, a talking raccoon and a giant walking tree but it was all in space, so cool, hilarious and awesome as it was, doesn't really make much of a dent in our story. No, because right from the start of Age of Ultron, we have no idea what is going on. Sure there was a set-up scene from the mid-credits of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, but we have no idea how the Avengers got back together. We're just supposed to buy immediately that they all are peechy-keen with each other and are just ready and raring to go. That's not good enough for me. It was such a big deal in the first five MCU movies to get the Avengers all set up that it just seems like nothing here. Sure, most sequels can get away with immediately launching into another adventure without any set-up, like say, the opening to Lethal Weapon 2 where it's in the middle of a car chase. It just seems like a main credits sequence ala The Incredible Hulk, quickly explaining what's happened in the past three movies, how they got back together, maybe brief glimpses of crime-fighting and what their new mission is leading into the movie. Also, the pacing in the first 30 minutes of the movie is way too fast and I'm more than a passing reader of the comics. Whedon writes lightning-fast dialogue while the audience struggles to get their bearings; admittedly, there is a funny running gag regarding Captain America and curse words that I have no doubt was written in response to Loki calling Black Widow a "mewling quim" from the first movie. We have no idea what their mission is until Tony tracks down Loki's sceptor. (Which makes no ounce of sense considering why did Thor not take it back with him when he left Earth at the end of Avengers?)

Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen had previously been co-stars in Godzilla,
where they were husband and wife. Here, they're brother and sister.

Two new characters in the film, Pietro and Wanda Maximoff (Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Elizabeht Olsen; a way to get around using their superhero names - Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch - because those names are owned by Fox), attack the Avengers and Wanda's psychic powers causes Tony to have a vision of the Avengers, defeated and dying, blaming him for their demise. After returning home, Tony is convinced that enough is enough and a more permanent solution is required. A "suit of armor around the world", as he calls it. So he and Bruce immediately get to working on building a peacekeeping android entity named Ultron, and by the film's depiction, we're supposed to already know who he is and what it means. I know these movies really, really well and there has been no mention or allusions to Ultron until now, so folks who haven't read the comics are going to be desperately lost. And there's no way that Iron Man 3, Thor: The Dark World and Captain America: The Winter Soldier were made without the knowledge that Ultron was the endgame for Phase 2. A little more set-up would've been nice.

And so, we get to the titular villain of the movie, Ultron (played via performance capture by James Spader of "The Blacklist"). While the Avengers throw themselves a party (which is a really funny scene), Ultron gains conciousness and quickly deciding that the only way humans can achieve peace is by their extinction, he seemingly murders Tony's A.I. JARVIS (voiced by Paul Bettany) and puts together a makeshift body for himself. He attacks the Avengers and escapes with Loki's scepter. Naturally, the Avengers are not too pleased with Tony trying to replace them without telling them; the trailer shot of Thor choking Tony is nothing but a trailer shot and might as well have been cut out. The Maximoffs team with Ultron to take out the Avengers. One point of contention I have is the characterization of Ultron. To be fair, I don't know much of James Spader's work. I'm kind of confused as to why "The Blacklist" is sometimes marketed as a comedy when it's supposed to be a drama (if I'm wrong, please let me know), but here he plays Ultron as somewhat aloof. He's a 9-foot-tall killer robot who sometimes forgets what children are, accidentally cuts off a character's arm and then actually apologizes for it. It works for Loki because he's the God of Mischief. Jokes and one-liners would come natually to him. But this is supposed to be the Marvel equivalent of Skynet, something cold and calculating, operating only on ones and zeroes. Quips shouldn't be a factor in his decision making.

From this point forward, Avengers: Age of Ultron becomes a global chase to stop Ultron from affecting a plan to cause worldwide extinction. One positive note I can give is that Jeremy Renner is given so much character development in this film than in the previous one. He gets a couple of funny lines and even a short heroic monologue about what it takes to be an Avenger, which is nice. Some of his development I can't mention here but it's well-worth seeing more human stakes for a character. Pepper Potts and Jane Foster are written away in lines of dialogue (in Jane's case, AGAIN). Nick Fury shows up out of nowhere with his eyepatch back (he burnt it at the end of Captain America: The Winter Soldier). And, as Whedon has promised, Agent Phil Coulson's resurrection will never be mentioned in the MCU films. This would be one heck of a breaking point for the Avengers, realizing that the Battle of New York was fought out of misguided guilt! Maybe even leading into Civil War, which is not even hinted at!

I don't want to come off sounding too negative about this movie; there are certainly things I like about it and good moments of cool action to be sure, but it just doesn't have the same spirit that the first film did. And as I said in the beginning, it is apparent Joss Whedon just wants to go home. Years ago, he was excited to take on a big summer superhero movie, but I think Marvel began to lean heavily on him - he made a ABC TV series for them "Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." that he soon had to reliqunish command of; he gave his opinion on the final edit of Iron Man 3; and he even had to be flown into England for an hour to fix the script on Thor: The Dark World (which didn't help much). Clearly, Whedon has been worn out and this film shows. The above quote (from an article on Buzzfeed) says it all. I truly think Whedon wanted a quick way out of the MCU. He even screws fans out of the famous battle-cry "Avengers Assemble!" at the last possible second. Could the director of Bring It On and the directors of You, Me and Dupree set the Marvel Cinematic Universe back to the high standards it's known for? Only time will tell.

OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL: There's No Place Like Disney

It's amazing to think how one director can change Hollywood history in the span of one year. The year? 1939. The director? Victor Fleming. You may not recognize him, but the two films he made that year are among the most popular ever made: Gone with the Wind and The Wizard of Oz (both adaptations of popular books).

While Gone with the Wind was an ambitious undertaking like never before, The Wizard of Oz was actually not the first time the Yellow Brick Road had made it to the silver screen. Silent and black-and-white versions had already been attempted, but Fleming wanted to bring Oz into a whole other cinematic world: color. With its memorable characters (including an unforgettable villain), bright and impressive scenery and its unmistakable theme song, "Over the Rainbow" (which was nearly cut from the film), The Wizard of Oz was nothing short of magical.

A sequel was briefly considered by the filmmakers, but by then, Judy Garland was a superstar and they were unable to make a deal. Still, Oz continued to thrive in other films like The Wiz, a 1978 adaptation with an all African-American cast including the great Diana Ross and the King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson in his acting debut. Then in 1985, Walt Disney Pictures made an unofficial sequel to the 1939 film, Return to Oz, directed by Walter Murch (screenwriter of George Lucas' THX-1138; he was later asked to direct an episode of "Star Wars: The Clone Wars"). However, the public was revolted by the sharp change in tone from the 1939 original and the film bombed. However, it has gained a fanbase who appreciate its much darker canvas.

Flash-forward to 2009 - Walt Disney Pictures decides to take a new approach to the books of L. Frank Baum: the origins of the Wizard of Oz himself. The project passed under three studio chiefs: Dick Cook, Rich Ross and Alan Horn. At the same time, director Sam Raimi had just finished his return to horror, Drag Me to Hell; before that, he had helmed the enormously successful Spider-Man trilogy. At one point, he had considered a Warcraft movie at Warner Bros. until recently when it was given to Duncan Jones (director of Moon and Source Code). Then, he went to Disney where he was offered Brick, the working title of the film about the origins of the Wizard of Oz. Disney had attempted to cast actors in the lead role, including Robert Downey Jr. (who was more preoccupied with Marvel's The Avengers and Iron Man 3; both Disney films) and Johnny Depp (who had already been signed to Dark Shadows and Disney's The Lone Ranger). But it was Raimi who made a call to an old friend: Academy Award-nominee James Franco, who had played Harry Osborn in the Spider-Man trilogy, would now take on the moniker of Oz: The Great and Powerful.

Oscar "Oz" Diggs (James Franco) is a turn-of-the-century circus magician with dreams of becoming a "great man" like his hero, Thomas Alva Edison. However, he's not that nice a guy, not respecting his only friend in the world, Frank (Zach Braff). He is currently in Kansas where he makes his living as "Oz, the Great and Powerful" in his magic show on stage. When he is asked by a little girl (Joey King) in a wheelchair to help her walk in the middle of his show, Oz is unable to help her and is subsequently booed off the stage by the angry audience. Even angrier is the circus strongman coming to kill him after flirting with his wife. Oz manages to escape via a hot air balloon, but quickly finds himself in an even worse position: uncontrollably heading towards a raging tornado. In the middle of the twister, Oz pleads for his life, promising to be a better man if he lives.

Amazingly, Oz does live, but as you've probably guesssed he's "not in Kansas anymore". He's found himself in the beautiful yet strange land of Oz, where he first meets a young woman named Theodora (Mila Kunis; she and Franco had previously appeared together in Date Night). She tells him she is a witch and that, being that he has fallen from the sky and appears to know magic, that he must be the Wizard from the prophecy who can save their land. They quickly fall for each other as they travel to the Emerald City. On the way, they're joined by a flying monkey in a bellhop suit named Finley (voiced by Zach Braff), to whom Oz privately confesses that he is not the Wizard Theodora thinks he is and forces him to play along.

Upon arriving at the Emerald City, Oz is told that he can be King of the land and rich beyond his wildest dreams, but as Theodora's sister Evanora (Rachel Weisz) warns, he cannot have it all until he vanquishes the Wicked Witch on the other side of the kingdom. With no other options, Oz reluctantly sets out on his quest with Finley at his side. They come upon the ruins of China Town, a place made of actual china, where they find a scared young China Girl (voiced by Joey King) who joins their quest to defeat the Wicked Witch. However, once they arrive at their destination, they find that the witch they're looking for is not so wicked and that Evanora might have some interesting changes in store for her sister.

After the billion-dollar success of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, Disney started putting fantasy epics into production. Oz is the first through the gate (a sequel is already being planned without Raimi's involvement), with Maleficent (starring Angelina Jolie and directed by Oz's production designer Robert Stromberg) close behind, Cinderella in the works (with Cate Blanchett attached as the Evil Stepmother and Kenneth Branagh to direct) and just announced, a new take on Beauty and the Beast "brilliantly" titled The Beast. It's no secret that Disney is in the business of copying its own success ad infinitum - some hits (the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, Tron: Legacy, The Muppets, Marvel's The Avengers and the upcoming films of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Wreck-It Ralph) and a lot of misses (Old Dogs, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, Mars Needs Moms, Prom and John Carter).

So after all this discussion of history and business strategy, what did I finally think of Oz: The Great and Powerful? I really liked it, certainly more than Alice in Wonderland (which had the insanely hot but no fun Mia Wasikowska). It helps to have a guiding hand like Sam Raimi to bring in curious parties who might not have come to the film otherwise. The choice to start the film in black-and-white and 1:33:1 and then expand to color and 2:40:1 is a nice touch to the original. Franco is certainly talented and capable as a leading man, but he must have gotten smiling lessons from The Terminator. Every time he smiles, it's ridiculous. The supporting cast is good, but it's not hard to point out which Witch is truly wicked, which one has the capacity to be wicked and which one is the real Good Witch. James Bond's wife, Meg Griffin and Marilyn Monroe (sorry, had to go there). The makeup on the Wicked Witch of the West is quite well done, but the Witch in the original movie didn't have green eyes (or Mila Kunis' cleavage; sorry, went there again). And an apple?! Really?! Why not use a potion or something, you're a witch! Ugh!!

Some have called Zach Braff's monkey character, Finley, annoying much like the infamous Jar Jar Binks. He makes a similar declaration of a life debt to James Franco's Oz. In all honesty, I didn't find him annoying, bu the life debt was completely pointless and unnecessary. Was it ever brought up again? Nope. There's a sequence where Oz nearly falls off a cliff. A good way to incorporate it is if Oz had fallen off the cliff and Finley saves him, saying, "I can't continue my life debt to you if you're not here," or something to that effect. Make it count if you're going to use it. A good joke in the film has Oz explaining the three Ups to Finley, the third being "Shut Up". In the rest of the film, Finley rambles to cover Oz's secret that he's not a Wizard to where Oz should tell him, "Third Up," which would have been a great running gag. Oh, well.

The movie is this odd blend of the original Oz and Raimi's own Army of Darkness. Yes! A guy falls from the sky. He is part of a prophecy to free a kingdom from evil. He goes on a quest which cultimates in a graveyard. The woman he falls in love with is turned evil. Before his final fight, the hero teaches others about advanced technology. The Deadite Witch even shows up in both movies -- ok, not really, but it looks enough like her.

It does have its problems and its missed opportunities, but Oz: The Great and Powerful is a decent Disney flick if not a great one. Raimi has the brains, Franco has the courage and Michelle Williams, Braff and King have the heart. The only thing is that these parts don't always work when they should.

P.S. BRUCE CAMPBELL!

A Look at Disney's One Saturday Morning

I realize this is less Hollywood big screen and more towards the small screen, but it’s nostalgic nonetheless. Not to mention, this particular block of Saturday morning cartoons launched three feature-length theatrical films. As a kid, this was the one thing that got you up way early in the morning on Saturday – cartoons that were funny, action-packed and even had a message or two to pass on.



Disney’s Doug
This series was after the Nickelodeon run of the Jim Jenkins series had ended and Disney had bought the rights to the characters. In return for starting up “Doug” on a new network (ABC), Jenkins was given the chance to do a whole other TV series on Playhouse Disney called “PB&J Otter”. Many “Doug” fans despise this iteration of the show for aging the characters slightly, forcing Billy West (the original voice of Doug Funnie and Roger Klotz) to leave the series due to payment issues and changing the style of the music (which was a staple of the original series). In my own opinion, I didn’t notice much different; what kids like varies and variety is indeed the spice of life. This show proved to be successful enough to launch its own feature film, Doug’s 1st Movie. Giving a show like “Doug” a movie is a plausible idea but the story they came up with was pretty ridiculous (Doug and his pal Skeeter sets out to find the monster of Lucky Duck Lake) and the box office reflected it with a total of $19 million. If you want the best “Doug”, stick with Nickelodeon.



Pepper Ann
This show was about a young 7th grade girl who is a perpetual daydreamer and lives with her strong willed mother and her sister of questionable gender. Like Doug, the show would often delve into the lead character’s fantasies which were quite odd to say the least. Even weirder was that it had the same composer as “Rocko’s Modern Life”, Pat Irwin. As far as the characters go, Pepper Ann was kinda weak-willed, her friend Nicky was even worse and Milo had no personality. All of the side characters were essentially forgettable. But hey, I’m a guy, so maybe it connected more with girls than it did me. The show lasted for four years, so it did end up proving its longevity.



Recess
Man, was this show a lot of fun! The opening sequence was just plain cool, introducing each of the main characters without saying a word. You had T.J. (the man with the plan), Vince (the star athlete), Spinelli (the tough tomboy), Gretchen (the pig-tailed genius), Mikey (the “gentle giant”) and Gus (the nerdy new kid). In Third Street School, recess is not just a time for fun and hanging out with friends; it has its own governments and cliques. What set apart this show was its series of interesting side characters who would make minor appearances in most episodes and rarely got episodes where the side characters had a main role. The show got its own theatrical film, Recess: School’s Out sending the characters into summer vacation. The story involved a secret government agency taking over Third Street with a plan to use a weapon to move the Moon into position to freeze the entire planet. Sound way too over-the-top for a show like “Recess”? Agreed. They even tried to pull in some ‘60s “peace, love and understanding” for today’s youth, which is completely out of sync with the times. I would say it’s still watchable, but “Recess saves the world” is a bit of overstatement. Even so, “Recess” was the best show I remember from One Saturday Morning.



Mickey Mouse Works/House of Mouse
This was Disney’s way of ensuring Mickey Mouse and his friends stayed culturally relevant by having their in-house television animation division come up with animated short films featuring the characters. Some would focus solely on Pluto getting the paper for Mickey, Minnie Mouse as a conductor in an orchestra and updated segments of Mickey, Donald and Goofy in various odd jobs. Some of my favorites were “Mickey To The Rescue” – Minnie has somehow been captured by Pete and it’s up to Mickey to save her by traversing through traps that Pete has set up. “Mickey Mouse Works” eventually became “House of Mouse” – essentially the same show but with new bookends featuring all of Disney’s animated characters under one nightclub roof. I remember these fondly, but I would rather see more original animated shorts put in front of theatrical films (ex. Goofy’s “How to Install a Home Theater System” in front of National Treasure: Book of Secrets).



The Weekenders
Gosh, was this show BORING! Granted, I was approximately 8 at the time, so the characters in the show didn’t really connect to me. I saw it as a Disney-styled rip-off of Nickelodeon’s “Rocket Power”: both shows involved a group of kids with their own sense of style who stray from the normal crowds. “TV Guide” erroneously claimed that “this show killed ‘Pokémon’”; although the series still has spinoffs currently on air, the main series that everyone remembers simply moved on. I think the idea of teenagers celebrating the weekend is a great idea, but it would probably work better in this case in live-action.



Teacher’s Pet
This show was pretty strange by Disney standards. A dog (with the voice of Nathan Lane) decides he wants more out of life and disguises himself as a schoolboy in class with his owner as a classmate. Original concept, to be sure, but I remember the show was trying to be too smart for its own good. It never really clung itself to me, aside from the basic concept and the dual character of Spot/Scott. Even this show got its own theatrical spinoff, but here’s where things get interesting – this was the film based on a Disney’s One Saturday Morning cartoon that got the best critical reviews, but it also received the worst box office reception. How that happened, I’ll never know.



Buzz Lightyear of Star Command
Pixar making a TV show sounding like a “too good to be true” scenario? Indeed it was as the greatest animation studio on the planet only contributed 30 seconds worth of CG animation to the show for its opening. The show was supposed to be the Toy Story universe’s inspiration for the character of Buzz Lightyear. There was a direct-to-video film with Tim Allen reprising his role of Buzz, but he was replaced by Joe Somebody co-star Patrick Warburton for the series. The show set up Buzz as a member of Star Command with his own team, the mystifying Mira Nova, the bumbling Booster and the hyperactive robot XR. Their adventures were widespread with reoccurring villains (of course, featuring the Evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance) and strange landscapes. Sadly, the show never really captured the fun of the actual Toy Story films and was canceled soon after. Still, if Pixar ever wanted to do a full-on CG-animated show (like DreamWorks Animation’s “The Penguins of Madagascar”), they are more than welcome in my book (and no, I don’t count “Mater’s Tall Tales” but “Toy Story Toons” is a step in the right direction).



Fillmore!
This was a show that nearly captured “Recess”-level of success, in my opinion. Cornelius Fillmore was once a kid on the wrong side of the middle-school law who was inducted into his school’s safety patrol and now fights for good. It’s a parody of shows like “Starsky & Hutch”, two good cops on the beat with over-the-top chase scenes. At times, I think it took itself a little too seriously; more to the point, the kids took their positions on safety patrol too seriously (they talk like they’re 40-years-old). I don’t know, my school never had a safety patrol (granted, it was a private school). Even so, I think “Fillmore!” is a pretty neat show with a great premise. A lot of the episodes are broken up into increments on YouTube, if you have time check ‘em out.



And that’s really all the shows I cared about on Disney’s One Saturday Morning. After 4 years, the block eventually became “ABC Kids” and aired more live-action programming until finally that block was canceled and was replaced with “Litton’s Weekend Adventure” with no cartoons and more of a politically-correct standpoint of “We need to teach your children about how to protect the wildlife and how to eat healthy foods.” To quote Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, “I weep for the future.” For a time, there was good cartoon programming on Disney’s One Saturday Morning – “five hours of summer once a week”.

Top 10 Anticipated Films of 2012

10. G.I. Joe: Retaliation (June 29th, 2012)
Director: Jon M. Chu
Writers: Rhett Reese/Paul Wernick
Starring: Channing Tatum, Dwayne Johnson, Bruce Willis, Arnold Vosloo, Ray Park, Byung-hun Lee, Ray Stevenson, RZA, Adrianne Palicki, Joseph Mazzello and Jonathan Pryce
Studio: Paramount Pictures




Say what you will about G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. One has to admit it was damned ambitious. It was also unbalanced, too heavily reliant on flashbacks and less true to the show and more of a “fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants” production. That didn’t stop it from being a worldwide sensation (maybe it was due to the disdainful delivery of the line, “Real American Heroes”). Forget for a minute that this is being directed by the same guy who brought us Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (in probably one of the most outrageous jumps from film to film on a resume). This is the second major feature film being written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick who introduced the world to Zombieland, one of my all-time favorite comedies. It breaks my heart to see them not continue with a sequel, but I’m glad to see they got to see the original concept for Zombieland, a TV series, finally come around. You’ll notice that most of Rise of Cobra’s cast was jettisoned – Damon Wayans, Rachel Nichols, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and oddly Dennis Quaid (I thought he was the best actor in the entire film). I was also surprised to see that they continued the storyline of the President being kidnapped and replaced by an evil doppelganger, but if it serves this film better, I say let them go for it. Whatever appeals Dwayne Johnson into inserting himself into popular action films’ sequels escapes me but seeing him along for the ride will be just fine with me. And from what I’ve seen in the trailer, Bruce Willis will be very exciting to see in the film cast as the original G.I. Joe. If the film can also handle the Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow rivalry better than Rise of Cobra, which would be an improvement. All I can say is I trust the writers, the cast seems just fine and I’m all for a better film.
NOTE: Paramount Pictures moved the film from June 2012 to March 29th, 2013. The delay gives time for a 3D post-conversion and reshoots that are said to involve Channing Tatum.

9. Wreck-It Ralph [3D] (November 2nd, 2012)
Director: Rich Moore
Starring the voices of: John C. Reilly, Sarah Silverman, Jane Lynch and Jack McBrayer
Studio: Walt Disney Pictures

The last time Disney delved into the world of video games were the films Tron and Tron: Legacy. Both were adventurous but perhaps a bit too serious for their own good. With this film, Disney harkens back to the days of 8-bit video games in this parody of “Super Mario Bros.”, Wreck-It Ralph. The story is that video game bad guy Wreck-It Ralph (voiced by Reilly) is constantly angry when his good-guy nemesis Fix-It Felix (voiced by McBrayer) disrupts his sleep with his building construction. All Ralph wants is the glory and fame that Felix gets and not be hated. If he has to become a good guy in another game, why not? The film promises to have a depiction of various video game worlds and styles of animation from 8-bit to the full-on photo-realistic shooters of today. This is Walt Disney Feature Animation’s follow-up to Tangled, which excites me that this film about video games joins the hallowed ranks of such films as Snow White, Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King. I can’t wait to see a trailer.

8. Frankenweenie [3D] (October 5th, 2012)
Director: Tim Burton

Writer: John August
Starring the voices of: Winona Ryder, Martin Landau, Martin Short, Catherine O’Hara, Conchata Farrell, Christopher Lee, and Tom Kenny
Studio: Walt Disney Pictures

In 1984, a young Disney animator named Tim Burton made the leap to live-action short films with a little story he developed about a young boy named Victor Frankenstein (a bit on the nose, perhaps?) whose dog is killed in a tragic car accident, but reanimates the corpse of his beloved pet and causes chaos in the neighborhood. This black-and-white film was Frankenweenie and starred Daniel Stern and Shelley Duvall as Victor’s parents. Disney executives were puzzled by the film and the eccentric filmmaker was ejected from the Disney company until a film he produced and wrote the story for became huge overseas, The Nightmare Before Christmas. Burton retained his position as producer on another Disney production, the live-action/stop-motion fantasy James and the Giant Peach and afterwards, left the Disney Company for good. Until 2010, when Burton returned to give his spin on a classic Disney story – Alice in Wonderland – which ended up bringing the studio $1 billion in income. Apparently, one of the costs the Disney studio had to guarantee for Burton in exchange for directing Alice in Wonderland was to allow him to go back and remake Frankenweenie in black-and-white stop-motion. Disney green-lit the project and let Don Hahn, head of the Walt Disney Feature Animation group, oversee the project personally. The film features a veritable reunion of previously Burton-used actors (notably missing Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, their first film apart in 7 years). On a side note, one actor I would like to see reteam with Burton is Batman himself, Michael Keaton. Anyhow, I think this film will be quite interesting to see as the original Frankenweenie had a lot of heart and humor.

7. Hotel Transylvania [3D] (September 21st, 2012)
Director: Genndy Tartakovsky

Writers: Dan Hageman, David Feiss and Kevin Hageman

Starring the voices of: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Selena Gomez, Andy Samberg, Fran Drescher, David Spade, Steve Buscemi, Molly Shannon and Cee Lo Green
Studio: Sony Pictures Animation

Yes, I know the film looks like a reunion of actors from I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and Grown Ups. Might I direct your attention back to the director? If you don’t know who that is, Tartakovsky is most famous for creating the Cartoon Network shows “Dexter’s Laboratory” and “Samurai Jack” and overseeing the animation of the original “Star Wars: Clone Wars” series. He even was allowed to storyboard a War Machine/Iron Man at the World Expo battle sequence in Iron Man 2. For the longest time, he was attached to directing a sequel to the Jim Henson classic, The Dark Crystal, but was abandoned by the Henson Company. This will be his first feature-length directorial debut. The film centers around Dracula (voiced by Sandler) and his daughter (voiced by Gomez) running a “five-stake” hotel resort where all of Dracula’s friends – Frankenstein (voiced by James) and his Bride (voiced by Drescher); the Invisible Man (voiced by Spade); a family of werewolves (voiced by Buscemi and Shannon); and a Mummy (voiced by Green) – can all relax and live it up until a unsuspecting human guy (voiced by Samberg) stumbles onto them and falls in love with Dracula’s daughter. If that concept doesn’t sound appealing to you, I would advise to just wait for a trailer and allow Tartakovsky’s talents to shine through.

6. Django Unchained (December 25th, 2012)
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Writer: Quentin Tarantino
Starring: Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Samuel L. Jackson, Dennis Christopher and Tom Wopat
Studio: The Weinstein Company

That’s right! Six years after Inglourious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino is back! Who else but Tarantino would be crazy enough to have their film released eleven days after Peter Jackson’s 3D juggernaut The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey? This film is his take on a Western. Jamie Foxx plays Django, a former slave who was freed and became a bounty hunter. Now he has returned to the Mississippi plantation he once worked at to free his wife from the tyrannical reign by the brutal Calvin Candie (played by DiCaprio). The cast is full of Tarantino regulars – Waltz, Jackson – and great actors like DiCaprio (in his first role as a villain) and Tom Wopat (most famous as Luke Duke from “The Dukes of Hazzard”). I’m enthusiastic to see what Tarantino does with this film.

5. The Amazing Spider-Man [3D] [IMAX 3D] (July 3rd, 2012)
Director: Marc Webb
Writers: James Vanderbilt/Alvin Sargent
Starring: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Martin Sheen, Sally Field, Denis Leary, Campbell Scott, Julianne Nicholson and C. Thomas Howell
Studio: Columbia Pictures





Ten years after Spider-Man’s first cinematic adventure comes this re-telling of his origins which most people complained was already told quite well in the first film, directed by Sam Raimi. However, this film appears to expand on more of Peter Parker’s years in high school and the mystery surrounding the disappearance of his parents. Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man film spent fifty minutes on Peter Parker in high school and zero on his parents (albeit one brief mention of his father). Also, a pivotal character in Peter’s high school years, Gwen Stacy was only introduced in Spider-Man 3, when Peter is in college. After the critical drumming that Spider-Man 3 got, Raimi and his team set out to make a Spider-Man 4. I’ve read the outline that they came up with and man, was it bad. One of the main plot points was revealing that Mary Jane was really fathered by the Vulture (to have been played by John Malkovich). Reboot away, please! When I first heard that Andrew Garfield was going to play New York’s Wondrous Web-Slinger, I was a bit outraged because he was a British guy playing an American icon (slipping my mind of course that Christian Bale was British playing Batman and later Henry Cavill was British playing Superman). However, I was calmed later by two reasons: first, I learned that Garfield was indeed an American, having been born in Los Angeles and was simply raised in England and secondly, seeing his fantastic performance in David Fincher’s The Social Network. I can’t imagine how much pressure he’s got to be under having to take such an iconic role from a decent actor like Tobey Maguire, who will be forever identified with Spider-Man (he seems to have disappeared off the face of the planet outside of his role in the upcoming The Great Gatsby). I love Emma Stone. For real. On the outside, she is the living, breathing incarnation of Mary Jane Watson, even more so than Kirsten Dunst who could not bring herself to play the Mary Jane from the comics. However, for this film she plays Gwen Stacy (taking the role from her The Help co-star Bryce Dallas Howard). Hopefully she can still bring a sense of fun with her naturally blonde beauty. I don’t know much about Rhys Ifans, but the Lizard was the character that was hinted at in the Sam Raimi movies from a brief mention in Spider-Man to a one-armed portrayal in Spider-Man 2 and Spider-Man 3. The late great Cliff Robertson had a great role as Uncle Ben in Spider-Man and gave a fantastic delivery of the famous line, “With great power comes great responsibility”. Having Martin Sheen come in surprised me because he is a quality actor and I wouldn’t have figured him for a superhero movie. I’m not quite convinced that Sally Field is really OLD enough to play Aunt May, but that’s beside the point. James Cromwell was severely underused as Captain George Stacy in Spider-Man 3 (really he’s in one scene). Denis Leary is a great actor and him leaving his show “Rescue Me” to make this film tells me his character’s death probably won’t happen in the first movie. All in all, Amazing Spider-Man has a lot of heat against it, but also has a lot of potential. There’s no question that the movie will be a box office hit.

4. Men in Black III [3D] (May 25th, 2012)
Director: Barry Sonnenfeld
Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Josh Brolin, Jermaine Clement, Emma Thompson, Nicole Scherizinger and Alice Eve
Studio: Columbia Pictures





Will Smith’s last two films in 2008, Seven Pounds and Hancock, were not well-received critically and only one (Hancock) was financially successful. In the four years since his film absence, he has gotten his son in a well-received remake of The Karate Kid and making his daughter into a pop star and in a new adaptation of Annie. Now he has returned to the black suit and the black shades of the Men in Black. Granted, Sonnenfeld hasn’t directed a film since 2006’s RV (he was busy show-running ABC’s “Pushing Daisies”). Putting together a new Men in Black film clearly wasn’t easy from the set reports of the actors often working without a finished script. The teaser shown recently certainly shows that Jones and Smith are clearly back in character and Brolin’s impersonation of Agent Kay is flawless. As a fan of the films, I’ll continue to hold out hope for it.

3. John Carter [3D] [IMAX 3D] (March 9th, 2012)
Director: Andrew Stanton
Writers: Andrew Stanton/Michael Chabon
Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Willem Dafoe, Thomas Hayden Church, Mark Strong
Studio: Walt Disney Pictures





This is another one of those films that most people I know don’t have much faith in. All I have to say is, “Trust in Andrew Stanton”. He’s made two fantastic animated movies – Finding Nemo and Wall•E – both of which won Academy Awards for Best Animated Feature. This is his first live-action film, and if the success of fellow Pixar alumni Brad Bird’s Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol is any indication, I think people will be highly receptive. The film’s biggest obstacle will be trying to differentiate itself from popular science-fiction films like Avatar and Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. What people don’t seem to realize is that is that Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote “A Princess of Mars”, the first story to feature John Carter was written over 100 years ago! The cast seems to be made up of actors involved in Marvel movies: Taylor Kitsch and Lynn Collins both appeared in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Willem Dafoe and Thomas Hayden Church were both in Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man movies and Mark Strong was in Kick-Ass (a graphic novel published in part by Marvel). I know a lot of people are also worried about giving a first-time director a budget of $200 million, which is very, very risky but if Stanton made a good film, it will all be worth it.

2. The Dark Knight Rises [IMAX] (July 20th, 2012)
Director: Christopher Nolan
Writers: Jonathan and Christopher Nolan
Starring: Christian Bale, Anne Hathaway, Tom Hardy, Marion Cotillard, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Juno Temple, Josh Pence, Joey King and Liam Neeson
Studio: Warner Bros. Pictures



I’m sure most people will be upset with me putting this film in second place and leaving out The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and Prometheus. One reason it’s in second place is because this film features ONE superhero. The full-length theatrical trailer left me somewhat confused and wanting more, but that’s exactly what Christopher Nolan wants. This man is a true genius. The cast is fantastic and anticipation for this film has never been higher. I went to a New Years Eve party where someone had the audacity to ask me if I thought The Dark Knight Rises will be good. I angrily replied, “Does a bear $#*! in the woods?” He didn’t know what I meant. Sigh.

1. The Avengers [3D] (May 4th, 2012)
Director: Joss Whedon
Writer: Joss Whedon
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Mark Ruffalo, Clark Gregg, Colbie Smulders, Tom Hiddleston, Stellan Skarsgård, Gwyneth Paltrow
Studio: Walt Disney Pictures/Marvel Studios





This is a film I’ve been waiting for since 2008. With one line delivered by Samuel L. Jackson playing his comic-book counterpart Nick Fury at the very end of Iron Man, “I’m here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative,” Marvel Studios launched the imaginations of a thousand fanboys like me everywhere. One bump in the road was losing The Incredible Hulk’s Edward Norton (who would’ve been great fun to see with this team) but I’m sure Mark Ruffalo will do just fine (he previously co-starred with Downey in David Fincher’s Zodiac). This is the first Marvel film that Walt Disney Pictures will be distributing (not publicly apparently, thanks to Paramount Pictures). Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth both gave fantastic performances as Captain America and Thor, in their respective films and I can’t wait to see more from them. Two time Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner rises from a brief post-production cameo in Thor to his full role as Hawkeye/Clint Barton. It’s always nice to see Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson who probably has the best dry comedy delivery in the business. For the first time in cinematic history, the Avengers will assemble and you can bet your ass I’ll be there opening day.

Honorable Mentions:

The Hunger Games (March 23rd, 2012)
Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (March 2nd, 2012)
Brave (June 22nd, 2012)
Ted (July 13th, 2012)
The Watch (July 27th, 2012)
Skyfall (October 26th, 2012)
Prometheus (June 8th, 2012)
Rise of the Guardians (November 11th, 2012)
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (December 14th, 2012)

THE MUPPETS: They're Back

In 1955, Mississippi native Jim Henson took a green coat his mother had thrown out and two halves of a ping-pong ball and created a character that soon millions around the world would fall in love with. The character was Kermit the Frog and his message of believing in one's self to achieving the impossible was adopted by countless fans young and old. One of those fans was actor Jason Segel, a lifelong admirer of The Muppets. Teaming with Walt Disney Pictures, he set out to bring new life to the characters he adored and wrote, produced and starred in The Muppets.


But the Muppets had a long road to get back to the big screen. After “The Muppet Show”, The Muppet Movie, The Muppets Take Manhattan and The Great Muppet Caper, Jim Henson wanted to branch out into new directions (Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal) without solely being connected to the Muppets. In 1989, he decided he was going to give his company to The Walt Disney Company for near $150 million. This would allow him to go into darker material without leaving behind the Muppets. He completed two projects for Disney - a TV special “The Muppets at Walt Disney World” and the Disney World/Disneyland attraction “Muppet*Vision 3D”. Sadly in 1990, Jim Henson died of pneumonia. The world was shocked at this sudden death. At his memorial service (per his wishes), no one would wear black and the congregation would hold foam butterflies connected to puppeteer's rods.


As he had not signed an actual contract that signed away the characters, Disney could not take hold of the Muppets but distributed the two following Muppet films, The Muppet Christmas Carol and Muppet Treasure Island. Columbia Pictures took the next film Muppets from Space, the first completely original Muppet film since Muppet Caper, and delivered the Muppets' first bomb (mostly because it came out the same summer as Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Wild Wild West and Runaway Bride). Frank Oz said, “[Muppets from Space was not] up to what it should have been. [It was] not what we wanted it to be.” After laying dormant for 5 years, The Walt Disney Company and the Jim Henson Company reached a mutual agreement and bought control of The Muppet Studio. Two TV specials were made - “If's A Very Merry Muppet Christmas” and “The Muppets' Wizard of Oz” (featuring a notable appearance by director Quentin Tarantino).

Disney had tried to get a new feature Muppet film off the ground by going straight to Frank Oz. They had found an unused script that Jim Henson had approved called “The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made!” where Gonzo makes a new Muppet movie but blows the entire budget on the opening credits. Oz did take the offer under consideration, but parted ways when he and Disney had disagreements over the budget - Disney wanted $12 million to do the film, Oz wanted $24-$50 million ( he reportedly quipped, “Do you know how much money it takes to make things look cheap?”). After the release of his last film, Death at a Funeral, Oz dropped out of public view; however, recent reports have said he has moved onto the stage, directing plays. In 2008, Muppet fans Jason Segel Nicholas Stoller pitched an idea for a new Muppet film to Walt Disney Pictures. Segel had made no secret of his love for the Muppets in Stoller's film Forgetting Sarah Marshall - singing a melancholy version of “The Muppet Show Theme Song”. They opted to write their own script rather than use the “Cheapest” idea. After having script meetings with Pixar Animation Studios, the film started production in late 2010.


The Muppets begins with the story of Walter (Peter Linz), a young boy doesn't seem to fit in with everyone else. Always getting hurt because of his small stature, Walter always sensed he was different until he happens to catch a rerun of “The Muppet Show” on TV. He instantly becomes infatuated with meeting his heroes, the Muppets, because of their similar looking appearance. He lives in Smalltown, USA, with his brother Gary (Jason Segel) who is dating a girl named Mary (Amy Adams). Gary decides that he is going to take Mary to Los Angeles for their 10th dating anniversary. Knowing that Walter would love to meet the Muppets, Gary invites him as well, though this secretly doesn't please Mary because she wanted Gary all to herself. Nevertheless, the trio leaves Smalltown, USA in a jaunty (and insanely catchy) musical number called “Life's A Happy Song”.


Arriving in Los Angeles, Gary, Mary and Walter discover that the Muppet Studios has been mostly abandoned and shut down. Walter sneaks into Kermit's old office and overhears a plot by evil oil tycoon Tex Richman (played diabolically by Chris Cooper) to destroy the Muppet Theater because of the oil that is underneath it. The only way the Muppets can save their theater is if they can raise $10 million considered to theaters in two days. Walter, Gary and Mary set out to find Kermit and put things right. They find him alone at his house with only his ‘80s robot servant (named ‘80s Robot) for company. A melancholy Kermit admits that he and the Muppets had gone their separate ways and there seems to be no hope of saving the Muppets had gone their separate ways and there seems to be no hope of saving the Theater until Walter makes an impassioned speech convincing Kermit that if the Muppets returned, the world would appreciate them again. Together, the gang goes out to find the rest of the Muppets for a televised Muppet telethon - Fozzie has reluctantly joined a Muppet “tribute” band, Gonzo had become a rich plumbing mogul, Sam the Eagle has become a talking head pundit on a FOX News-lite network and Miss Piggy, a Vogue editor in Paris. With time running against them, the Muppets band together to refurbish their old theater, find a celebrity host and remind the world of what used to be and could be again.


When I walked out of this film, I was conflicted. A rarity for me. I knew this film was gonna be good. I knew it. 90% critical ratings are not given to Rotten Tomatoes every day (certainly not on three different films released in the same time period; the others include Arthur Christmas and Hugo). But there were A LOT of things in The Muppets that raised my ire. The first was the Toy Story 3-esque opening montage of Walter's early life (which hurt all the more because a “Toy Story Toon” had just finished playing). For some reason in the first act of the film, Walter becomes less of a character and more of a punching bag for Jason Segel's character. Walter is hurt, thrown, slammed and abused in countless ways often directly due to Gary. Not that he's meaning to, of course, but it just makes him look bad. Speaking of Jason Segel, I think he actually wrote himself into the backseat of this film (practically literally). If he's not with Mary or Walter, he's really given nothing to do. Now, this is somewhat practical for this film because it *is* a Muppet movie, but he ought to give himself more stuff to do than just sing and dance. It just makes his character seem bland and boring, when you know Jason Segel is actually a funny guy.


Two of my favorite Muppet characters are Statler and Waldorf, those hecklers you love to hate. They are consistently crotchety, pessimistic and senile - which makes them hysterical. Which is why I was saddened to see they were given SO LITTLE to do in the film. They only appear in like 4 scenes (and steal each one). In fact, this film has a terrible habit of introducing Muppet characters and then pushing them to the background of the background. For instance, Rowlf, at the end of the “‘80s montage” comments that he just showed up and nobody got to see his backstory which is nothing more than Kermit waking him from his sleep in a hammock and asking if he wants to rejoin the Muppets. That's funny. But then Rowlf doesn't appear or have any lines for the rest of the movie (albeit a brief appearance in the credits). The same goes for a lot of the Muppet characters and that's not good. Granted, I know the main characters are more important but there is no sense in introducing well-known characters and then giving them nothing to do.


I like Amy Adams as an actress. I can't wait to see her play Lois Lane in 2013's Man of Steel. But in this film, she's not great. Her character of Mary is a bit conflicting. The movie would like you to believe that she's completely lost without Gary and that through their adventure, she gains modern-day women's lib independence. She just has everything set up in her mind and if it doesn't go that way, it's instantly Gary's fault. She has a completely unnecessary musical number in the film called “Me Party” that intersects with Miss Piggy and is about “girl power; I don't need no man to make me happy”-type stuff. It does not advance their characters or their story and just ends up making then look bad and selfish. She also seemed ambivalent to the plight of the Muppets. When she reminds Gary that he promised to take her to dinner, this is the middle of Gary helping the Muppets rebuild their theater. Can she not tell that Gary is trying to help the Muppets in their time of need? It's not like she's helpless and can't do anything; she teaches children how to fix cars. It just seemed as though the film is trying to portray her in two different lights and it doesn't work.


The cameos also don't work as much as they ought to. When “The Cheapest Muppet Movie” was announced, several celebrities were rumored to be connected with the film such as Billy Crystal, Barbara Eden, Lady Gaga, Ed Helms, Sean Penn, French Stewart, Eric Stonestreet, Rachel Ray, George Clooney (attending the premiere of Michael Clayton 2), Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn (reprising their roles from Swingers) and Christian Bale (as Batman). I don't know about you but I would pay money to see Christian Bale's Batman and Gonzo in a scene together. That would be comedy gold. But the cameos here don't quite measure up. For example, Alan Arkin plays the Muppet Studios tour guide that only appears on camera for exactly 60 seconds. He's dull. He's boring. Alan Arkin is a great actor, he doesn't have to play dull and boring. Now, had the character been played by Ben Stein, that would have been more acceptable. Being dull and boring is his shtick. That's what makes him funny. Sarah Silverman is also given a cameo that could've just as easily been given to another actress. Nevertheless, it's always good to see Mickey Rooney in a film.

Song used: “The Rainbow Connection” by The Muppets

This is not to say I didn't enjoy the film. Indeed, as I pointed out earlier, the film is completely centered around the Muppets and Jason Segel makes no attempt to overshadow them. In fact, without Segel, this movie would not have been made at all. He and Stoller have written a screenplay that allows the Muppets to be themselves and try to find their place in this world that seemingly had abandoned them. Rather than be a reboot of the Muppets, it plays more like a long-awaited sequel to The Muppet Movie. It's precisely what they needed. Chris Cooper stands out as the villain, not only a no-good jerk but also very dark for a kids' film. At one point in the movie, he just out-and-out says, “You're dead, Muppets. And I'm here to bury you.” I was astonished. Wow. I will be very angry if “Life's A Happy Song” does not get nominated for Best Original Song because that is one peppy song. Speaking of songs, I literally got goosebumps when I heard “Rainbow Connection”. It was as simple as it was at the beginning of Muppet Movie, but had a new sense of poignancy. The shot-for-shot recreation of “The Muppet Show Theme Song” also made me smile. I may get a lot of flak for the somewhat overblown negativity that I listed, but I sincerely assure you that I had a wonderful time watching The Muppets and would easily recommend it to anyone - long-time Muppet fan or newbie. I think Jim Henson would be proud.

“So, that dumb geek decided to give us the last laugh.” “‘Last laugh’? Don't you mean the first?” “OHHH-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!”

REAL STEEL: Ready to Fight

I like Shawn Levy. Yeah, the “kid guy”. The guy who’s famous for doing movies like Big Fat Liar, Cheaper by the Dozen, The Pink Panther and both Night at the Museum films. All of which I thoroughly enjoy. Of course, most people tend to forget the movies he made for adults – namely Just Married and Date Night. Levy had said in interviews that he was looking to break out of the “family comedy” stereotype that he had been stuck in, although not holding any reservations about returning to it someday. This is when Steven Spielberg started calling. Spielberg, who had agreed to move with DreamWorks to Walt Disney Pictures, was given the option to keep certain scripts with him even if it meant having to buy them out of his own pocket. One of these scripts was Real Steel.


Real Steel is based on a short story written by famed writer Richard Matheson. Matheson is famous for writing novels and short stories that inspired films like The Incredible Shrinking Man, The Box, (the screenplay for) The Night Stalker, Somewhere in Time, The Young Warriors and I Am Legend. He also wrote for television – Star Trek’s “The Enemy Within” and The Twilight Zone’s “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” (the famous William Shatner episode that was remade with John Lithgow in George Miller’s segment of Twilight Zone: The Movie), “Little Girl Lost” (famously parodied in one of The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror featuring a CGI Homer) and “Steel” starring Lee Marvin. “Steel” was a futuristic boxing story about a former human boxer named Steel Kelly who lives in a world where human boxing has been outlawed for being too violent and the human boxers have been replaced by fighting machines. He trains his own fighting robot, Battling Maxo, who breaks down right before a fight. Not wanting to lose his chance at winning, Kelly disguises himself as the humanoid machine and despite putting up a valiant effort loses to the machine opponent and is nearly killed. As with typical Twilight Zone episodes, it ends on a mysterious and somewhat uncharacteristically hopeful tone.


Spielberg had been involved with Matheson once before by bringing his short story Duel to life as a TV movie starring Dennis Weaver. Matheson had also co-wrote Jaws 3D, a second sequel to Spielberg’s classic thriller. He clearly knew that Matheson had a great story with “Steel” but was more interested in the setting and the story point of having robots fighting each other (something already seen in the Transformers trilogy, executive produced by Spielberg). Spielberg wanted a director who could also tell a human story within this action-packed sports drama. Calling Levy, he explained that he enjoyed his films because they were commercial and big-hearted which was precisely what he wanted for this project. Levy, excited to work with Spielberg, immediately signed on. This is Levy’s first Disney film (through Touchstone Pictures) and Spielberg’s second (after executive-producing the classic Who Framed Roger Rabbit; he’s directing the upcoming War Horse).


The film begins with Charlie Kenton (Hugh Jackman), a down and out former fighter, who is clearly in over his head with debt. Nevertheless, he continues to engage in fighting exhibitions where his 2000-pound boxing robots are consistently decimated. After one of these devastating fights, Charlie is informed that he has been given his long-lost 11-year-old son, Max (Dakota Goyo), to take with him on fights. At first, they vehemently do not like each other. But after encountering a smaller sparring robot named Atom, father and son begin bonding through training their new champion.


I think this is clearly Shawn Levy’s best movie to date, even beating out my previous favorite, Night at the Museum. Now, my other movie-loving friends would argue that Levy is a terrible, evil director who is as bad as Brett Ratner (for more see: The Hollywood Saloon's Saloon Shot: Rat-Branded). I believe the guy isn’t bad. I’ve watched his “Life After Film School” and he’s pretty fun and knowledgeable about the making of his films and advice he’d give to others. But with Real Steel, there is one mistake that could have been made a lot better if he had paid attention to another Disney film that is highly beloved to me. 1969’s The Love Bug.


Song: "The Love Bug Theme" by George Burns


Both Real Steel’s Charlie Kenton and The Love Bug’s Jim Douglas (Dean Jones) are down-on-their luck athletes who aren’t very likable at the beginning of their stories. They both stumble upon a piece of machinery that seems to have a life of its own. Here’s what Real Steel doesn’t have that The Love Bug has: actual mechanical sentience. Herbie the Love Bug is a character within the movie and is given ample screen time to justify it (he can skip across lakes, leak oil on villains, open his own doors, drive himself, etc.). Atom, the main robot in Real Steel, is only hinted at having sentience in one scene. This is never fully explained or brought up in detail for the rest of the film. Granted, this might have been part of a subplot that got removed from the film, but that’s a lame excuse even for me to give and I’m a pretty optimistic guy.


Another nitpick I have with this movie is the overly abundant product placement, but it’s not entirely Real Steel’s fault. It’s been happening more and more in the past 20 years. It draws your eye away from the story, from what’s important though I realize full well that where the studio’s money ends, the sponsors’ money begins. But Real Steel picks the oddest product placements ever. Of course, you see product brand names like Budweiser, Coca-Cola, Cadillac and Dr. Pepper (which makes perfect sense since they’re not going anywhere. They will exist past 2020 and beyond). But you’re telling me, that in 2020, there’s gonna be a “Bing Arena”? BING? What’s next? “Tumblr Stadium”? “eBay Theatre”? “Ask.com Library”? Pick a product that is timeless so when people watch it in 40 years, they’ll know what everything shown in the movie is!


I think Real Steel exceeds the expectations of people walking in expecting, “a stupid Rock’Em Sock’Em Robots rip-off of Transformers”. It’s just a sweet yet action-packed boxing drama that just happens to have robots hitting each other. Hugh Jackman, as usual, plays a fantastic character and as you see him fighting on screen, you just want to be up there with him cheering him on.